Short Stories are Cool!
by Planet of the Deaf
Summary: In parallel to my attempts to write 'proper' Doctor Who stories (with a plot and monsters etc) this will be a series of occasional oneshot stories starring Eleven (and usually Clara). Mainly silliness and fluff I suspect...
1. The Movies

**As a break from trying to come up with a proper plot for my next 'proper' Doctor Who story (i.e. with scary monsters and a vaguely gripping plot that actually makes some sort of logical sense), I present the first of a series of occasional one shot short stories, starring Eleven and usually Clara. Expect fluff and general silliness, it's my tribute to him, or as he might have put it:-**

_**I write short stories now. Short stories are cool!**_

* * *

The Movies

"I do love the cinema" enthused the Doctor. "The excitement of the big screen, the enraptured audience soaking up the adventure, plus the popcorn and ice creams. Ah yes, a great evening out."

"I'm quite looking forward to seeing _Day of the Doctor_" replied Clara, "I haven't watched Doctor Who for years now, but it's a big occasion, the show reaching its 50th anniversary, and seeing in on the big screen in 3D will be amazing."

"Ah. Slight problem there Clara."

"Yes?" Clara glared.

"A minor hiccup on the ticket front, um, they all sold out. How was I to know they'd sell out so quickly?"

"Brilliant! I can't trust you to get any tickets. I presume you're going to do what you did to get us into the Prom, and use a Hyperspace body swap ticket."

"I'm not wasting one of those on this rubbish, they're very valuable."

"But I thought you'd like it, a TV show about a time traveller, you might enjoy watching someone like yourself."

"Clara, if I was a plumber, would I want to watch a film about someone unblocking drains and fixing leaks, if I was a dentist would I want to see 'Lethal Cavities 2, this time it's root canal treatment'!"

"OK, fair point. So what are we seeing then, something nice, a bit romantic?" Clara smiled.

"Yes. Teenage Killer Mutant Zombies 5!" the Doctor beamed.

"Doctor" Clara exclaimed. "That's not romantic! That sounds terrible." And she glowered.

"Oh, I'm sure it'll be good. I'm off to get some popcorn. Fancy anything?"

Soon the Doctor emerged with a giant tub of popcorn, and an enormous drink.

"I can't believe you're going to eat all that popcorn Doctor" Clara exclaimed.

"Well you never want to get hungry, mid film. Hence the emergency pack of Jammie Dodgers in my pocket as well. Look! Over there, there's someone in a bow tie. And someone with him wearing a fez, I told you fezzes are cool! I should have worn my fez tonight."

"I am _not_ going out with someone wearing a fez! Look, they're coming over."

The bowtie wearer came up to the Doctor and exclaimed

"Nice outfit mate, I love the coat. You really made the effort tonight!"

"Oh this is how I always dress, you need a coat like this with deep pockets to carry around my sonic screwdriver and emergency Jammie Dodgers. " The Doctor pulled a packet out of his pocket. "Oops, a bit crushed. Great fez by the way, I'm never allowed to wear a fez, first Amy and River and now Clara stop me. I don't know why, fezzes are cool!"

"Er thanks" replied the fez wearer as he and the bowtie wearer edged away. In the background the Doctor and Clara heard them speak.

"Blimey, some people take cosplaying to the extreme, I thought I was a big fan! I liked his Companion though."

"Not bad, but I didn't think the hair was right, and she's obviously not as attractive as the real Jenna Coleman. A bit short as well."

"A bit short and not as attractive as Jenna whatshername!" Clara whispered to the Doctor in an irritated voice. "Stupid geeks, what do they know! And what's wrong with my hair?"

"Oh, er nothing, your hair looks ok, no er fine, er great. Definitely great. Maybe you should consider wearing a fez?"

Clara glared at him.

"Ok, not a fez. Shall we go through?" he continued weakly.

Taking their seats, Clara cheered up.

"Well at least you got back row seats, like I hinted at. More private" Clara winked at the Doctor.

"Oh yes, it's great in the back row. Perfect for secret eating, and the odd food fight!"

Clara looked deflated again…

The film started. Clara wasn't enjoying it, not helped by the munching noises next to her.

"Drat!" exclaimed the Doctor, "I dropped a bit of popcorn."

"Sshh" came a voice from in front of them.

"Sorry."

"If you move your foot Clara" the Doctor continued in a whisper, "I'll be able to pick it up."

"Can't it wait?" Clara whispered back.

"Won't take a jiffy…almost got it…gotcha. Ouch!" as he then smacked his head on the back of the seat in front.

"Keep quiet please" came another voice from around them.

"Sorry, all sorted now."

A few minutes later the Doctor piped up again

"These zombies are terrible, they don't look anything like real zombies! I remember seeing some amazing zombies in the 25th Century, now they _were_ scary, especially when they lost their limbs when you touched…."

"Keep it down mate!"

"Sorry."

The film continued. Sensing Clara wasn't enjoying the zombies on screen, the Doctor, having worked out the benefit of being in the back row, put his arm around her.

"Doctor, I'm not happy" whispered Clara to the Doctor.

"Oh, sorry" replied the Doctor, removing his arm.

"No, not that! The film. It's horrible, all those zombies on screen."

"Yes, they are bad aren't they, so unrealistic."

"They're real enough for me. Can we go, this really isn't my thing?"

"Oh, all right then. I'll just get my popcorn, and we can squeeze out."

The Doctor and Clara got up.

"Excuse me" the Doctor turned to the person next to him "Sorry to disturb you, but we're leaving."

The person mumbled something, but got up.

"Thank you, just squeezing out, argghhhh!"

The Doctor tripped on his neighbour's foot, and he and the popcorn went flying.

"So sorry, um I'll pick it all up."

"For ***** sake, just ******* go you stupid ******!"

"Ok, um yes. Clara, we're um leaving. Right away."

Clara squeezed down the row, past the trail of popcorn. Outside she addressed the Doctor.

"That person next to you, I could have sworn he was Peter Capaldi!"

* * *

**All reviews and suggestions welcome! **


	2. I wear women's clothing now

**Another bit of random silliness **

* * *

It was Wednesday again, and Clara eagerly waited by the window for the Doctor to arrive. Suddenly she heard the familiar noise, and the TARDIS appeared. Clara bounced out of the house, eager to see what the Doctor had in mind for today, and quickly ran across the path to the TARDIS, where she knocked on the door, which then opened.

"Doctor!

"Oh hello Clara. I've got an exciting adventure for us today."

"B, but Doctor" Clara stammered, "What are you wearing?"

"It's a dress, one of Amy's old ones, I found it while searching through one of the wardrobes. Fits surprisingly well, but then she was a tall girl unlike, well, er, some of my other companions."

"You, you're wearing women's clothing!" replied a shocked Clara.

"And what's wrong with that? I wear women's clothing now. Cross dressing is cool!"

"But you look ridiculous; you can't go out dressed like that!"

"So, when I'm talking to a three headed monster, or an alien race that talks out of their feet, they're going to go 'Ooh, look at him, he looks ridiculous because he's wearing high heels'"

"High heels!"

"Well I don't actually have any at the moment, I would ask to borrow a pair from you, but they wouldn't fit. And Clara, I travel the world trying to encourage tolerance, getting different races and creatures to understand each other, to come to terms with their differences, rather than fight. Maybe wearing a dress will help encourage that. "

"Maybe" replied Clara, desperately trying to think of a counter argument. "Don't you find it a bit draughty?"

"Yes, well I couldn't find any tights to wear underneath."

"And you'll need to shave your legs."

"Do I? Oh. How do I do that?"

"I can show you if you like."

"That would be great Clara!"

"I normally shave them in the shower, you can watch if you like" Clara smiled.

"Thanks, that would be, ah, er you in the shower, umm soapy, wet and naked, er um."

"Down boy!" Clara smirked, as she started to enjoy herself more.

"No, um not at all, er shut up!" replied the flustered Doctor.

"Doctor" asked Clara, "Why are you _really_ wearing a dress?"

"Well you told me last week that I needed to get in touch with my feminine side, and you know how I always treasure your advice Clara, so when I found this dress I thought I'd wear it to please you."

"Ah. That wasn't _exactly_ what I meant, though thanks for the thought anyway."

"So what did you mean?"

"Oh, it doesn't matter. Doctor."

"Yes Clara."

"Just to make this clear Chinboy. I prefer you _all_ man."

Clara kissed him on the cheek.

"Oh, ok, er thanks Clara."

"So hurry up and get changed into your normal clothes, we've got an adventure to go on!"


End file.
